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The Award

For anybody who knows me, or pays attention to the things I post, you will probably notice, self love is a big theme. This is a topic I’d like to touch on a little bit more, starting with a metaphorical poem I wrote:

So much time and energy,
Thought and dedication
That’s what makes up the perfect application
Pour your heart and soul into it
Explain why you are the best candidate
While at the same time, trying to be humble
Trying to outshine the competition
Walking away thinking you nailed it
Living on cloud 9 for a few days
And then the waiting sets in
You don’t hear back
And your mind goes to the dark place
Did you talk too much?
Not enough?
Did you seem too eager?
Too desperate?
Are you not good enough?
What is wrong with you?
Why can you never get the prize?
These negative thoughts creep in
And become impossible to ignore
How can you go from feeling invincible,
To completely worthless based on someone else?
It happens.
It happens all the time.
It happens with career
With friendships
It happens with family
And with love
The question is why?
Why do we let others distort our perception of our self worth?
Once we can learn to stop,
That is when we will get the prize.
That is the true award.

The Science Behind Self-Love

Self love might sound like the newest fad that everybody is talking about. But, there is actually scientific basis for just how important self love is for our body to heal and function appropriately.

In order to understand this, I have to first talk about my other favourite thing: stress! Every single one of us has an innate response to stress: the fight or flight response. No matter what type of stress we encounter, our body responds with self protection. Unfortunately, when we are not in an actual life or death situation, being in self protection mode all the time is actually not a good thing and ultimately influences how well we heal and function.

The Connection to Your Stress Response

Why do I bring this stress response up you might ask? Well, negative self talk is, in my opinion, the biggest stressor there is. Why? Because these thoughts are internal and actually originate in our brain. That means, only we have the capability of changing them within ourselves. Nobody else can change your thoughts and your self talk for you. You have to put the work in to be mindful and aware of the way you speak to yourself.

A thought is either good or bad. If you think about how the brain works, this will make a bit more sense. Our brain releases hormones that support parasympathetic (rest and digest) or sympathetic (fight or flight). A negative thought activates sympathetic responses and actually puts our body into that fight or flight mode.

Make Yourself Listen Up!

I urge everyone reading this to pay more attention to your self talk. Next time you think something negative about yourself, please stop your thoughts dead in their tracks and ask yourself why you feel this way. Usually, there is an underlying reason. An original event, or series of events, that lead you to believe these things. Once you ask yourself that question, say the exact opposite thing to yourself. Even if you don’t believe it right away. The words do matter on a physiological level. They will start to change your own perceptions and feelings.

There are many tools I use and pieces of advice I give to as part of homecare that can help address this. If this is something you feel you or someone you know would benefit from, please send me a message. I would love to help in any way that I can.


Yours in health; body, mind and soul.

Dr. Julianne Donato, B.A., D.C.

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